What's It Like? (The Sacred Art of Witnessing)
What’s it like?
Recently, a beautiful friend of mine held me in my tears, in a really hard moment, a moment following weeks of doing some big, deep inner work.
As the helper/ healing practitioner/ space holder/ leader, I’m often the one holding for others.
And that holding feels really good. It's right. It’s what I’m here for, no doubt.
There are moments, though, when the healers, the helpers, the space holders, the leaders, and the parents/ caregivers need holding, too.
Sound familiar?
This was a moment where so much was bubbling up and moving through and around me, and waves of grief (my own and the collective) were washing over me.
She held me tightly in the most reassuring embrace and asked, “What’s it like?”
And it all poured out of me.
All of what was in there.
She just listened and said, "Tell me more. What's it like?"
So I told her. And what it was like inside poured out of me.
Photo courtesy of Eye for Ebony of Unsplash.com
“What’s it like?”
Now that is a beautiful and sacred question to ask.
And that is a beautiful and sacred space to hold.
To just BE with.
To witness.
To hold someone in their pain and holiness and greatness and grief.
And to ask, “What’s it like?”
And then to hear them.
To listen with the whole heart and to welcome the layers beneath what's being spoken.
Without fixing.
Without judgment.
Without politics clouding our listening.
To not tell them they’re wrong, or that they’re ok, or that they shouldn’t feel a certain way.
Without closing our hearts to what is sparking and alive, or aching and lost, in another.
I imagine a world in which we have the practice of holding one another and asking, “What’s it like?”
And we listen.
Just our openhearted hearing and witnessing of what it's like.
Imagine what might heal and open up.
For each of us as individuals and our collective.
Sacred witnessing
What’s it like? (I’m asking…)
Inviting you to take in the question.
Can you feel that in your body?
How might you be more well, more heartful, and have more spaciousness in your mind, heart, and soul, if you answered, “What’s it like?”
This is the work of healing – individual and collective.
The act of witnessing, and being with, is truly more powerful than most healing practices I know.
And I know many powerful practices and techniques.
(FACT: When I engage the practices and techniques, though, the effectiveness and potency are determined by the quality of space held, the deep listening and witnessing, and the energetics underneath the technique... much more than the technique itself.)
The world needs you well.
And it’s hard to be well if we're holding it in, or intellectualizing our responses, or pretending not to be affected by what’s stirring within and around us.
I know it might seem odd that I've not mentioned the nervous system this far into my love note, so I'll just mention this...
The space to authentically express - in our bodies, hearts, and minds - what wants release, IS nervous system healing.
Bodies, hearts, and minds need release. They need to not be tucking away all the things that get stored away while you're doing what you're doing.
Release makes way for clearer minds, hearts, solutions, and possibilities (as I experienced in this moment with my friend).
Our nervous systems also need love and connection. And while healing can happen in solitude, healing in the presence of other humans is so important.
This is all nervous system work, friend.
So tell me, what’s it like?
(I read every response. It is sacred to me to hear from you. I am truly asking. And if you don't tell me, I encourage you to ask and share with another.)
Whether you are a caregiver, organizational leader, humanitarian, conscious entrepreneur, changemaker, parent, service provider, or any combo of the above, what it's like for you matters, and your well-being is essential to whatever you're doing out there in the world.
The world needs you well.
With love and many blessings,
Kelly
P.S. If you're ready to do some healthy release, to be asked "what's it like," and to be heard, witnessed, and supported as you make some real healing change (inside and out), if you want support in befriending your body and nervous system, email me and let's connect to see if it's a fit to do some deep and attentive healing work together privately, or in my next Befriend Your Body Program.
Kelly Lubeck, MPH, is passionate about weaving together her deep commitment to changemaking, serving the world, and conscious parenting, with her passion for deep, soul-level coaching, teaching, and healing work (body, mind, heart, and spirit).
She’s spent over 25 years doing service-based work in the US and around the world. The last 16 years have been dedicated to developing and delivering services, programs and retreats for individuals, groups, and organizations, to help changemakers and leaders be well as they help the world to be well.
She earned her Master’s in Public Health from Columbia University, is a Registered Yoga Teacher, and earned certifications from the Light Body School, Sacred Depths coaching program, and the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
She's studied multiple healing modalities to support whole-person healing, from ancient shamanic healing practices to modern training in neuroscience and nervous system regulation (and many things in between), all of which she integrates into her work to help people heal, lead, parent and BE well.